I'm going to be sharing some of the thoughts that go through my mind, which are a lot. I'm used to discussing what I've read, learned or am going through with my boyfriend, sisters and mom and I get a kick out of being challenged with my ideas and am also the type that talks everything out. Believe me, EVERYTHING. Thoughts, ideas, beliefs, things I'm learning, stupid everyday things. There's not one thing that I wouldn't share with the people in my life. Now, the closer they are, the more details they get.
So, why do I do it?! Why is it that I share every aspect of my life with my inner circle, and why has it been hard for me to include everyone else?!
Well, for one thing, I can't or don't want to ever be completely alone. I'm not saying that I can't spend time alone or don't enjoy some good 'ME' time. It's not that I don't know what to do when I'm not around others or am scared to be alone with my thoughts. I actually, quite like where my thoughts take me. Even the scary, discouraging or upsetting ones. (But that's a topic for some other time).
It's just that I really want to share everything I've got with my loved ones. I want to include them in all aspects of my life. I want them to learn all the things I do, experience all the fun stuff I do, at least vicariously. I want them to know how I'm feeling and what are the things that are on my mind, my thoughts, fears and new beliefs. I want them to know my day in-and-out. As they know me in-and-out. I want them to be part of my day-to-day life. I do want to include them in my idiotic mistakes and even be told 'I told you so' or 'what were you thinking', by them because it's coming from the bond and trust we have, and I know it's constructive in all ways. Oh, but if that ever comes from beyond my inner circle, God help them!!!!! No joke.
I've always had a sense of keeping people in the dark. Well, not always. I had a boyfriend for a very long time that liked being a mystery for others. He also wanted me to be that way, and would take pride in it and say, " I like that you're like an enigma!". Now, me being an enigma was due to the fact that first of all, he kept it that way, secondly I didn't find many of our common friends to be interested in my world, nor was I in theirs. And thirdly, I had come out of a marriage that had taken all my voice away.
Although I like a little mystery and a lot of privacy, I also very much enjoy being able to share my world (the world of Metaphysics) with others. So, the enigma character wasn't a conscious choice but did become second nature to me after a while.
I am a very private person as far as my personal life goes, who I hang out with and what we do, but also love sharing the feelings, thoughts and emotions that I experience. I believe that sharing them will give others and myself the opportunity to open up to ourselves and each other, connect in higher levels and grow even more in our humanity. You never know how much your beliefs and knowledge could help someone until you share them, something I've experienced first hand in so many occasions. There are things that I know would help me but for whatever reason haven't done, but have shared with someone else and it has helped them greatly. Though I might not be ready to do myself, someone else might be ready, or the idea might give them a new window to enter and create newer and better things for themselves. So, I always respect the power of sharing!
A while back, I noticed that I've started to share more because I was seeing the good benefits it contained for myself and others. The more I share, the better I get at what to share and where to do it. There have been situations in which I have shared something personal with a friend (where I wouldn't normally) and saw what a great impact it had on them. One example is when I was talking to a couple of my friends and just started sharing how physically, mentally and emotionally satisfied I was with the new guy I was dating. I'm typically not the type of girl that shares sexual information with my friends (nor did I get into any details), but this new experience was so amazing that I wanted to share some of it. Not in a sense of ,"Hey, look at what I've got!!! :b" but rather to share just how much happiness I had been missing until this point without even knowing it. It was soooo much more than the physical satisfaction. My mind, my soul and my being (inside and out) was being stimulated and flourished in ways I didn't know existed. I'm gonna tell you guys all about it later, but now, I want to get into my friends' reactions.
Their first reaction was gratitude, amazement and wonder in the way I was genuinely sharing an important part of my life. They had never seen anyone be this honest in their sharing. Secondly, they said that they always wondered what a guy with this much depth was like and started asking me more about him. What he's into and what not. And what we talk about and share. But then they got into the sexual topic and that just opened the doors to all the things they had been thinking of and didn't know they could do differently in their own lives. Now again, I didn't give them details, just a general overview of my new experience but that was enough to help them look at things in their own relationships differently. Our conversation actually ended with one of my friends deciding to take matters in her own hands when it came to letting her husband know what she wanted. That she should stop waiting for the perfect, sensual and romantic moment, one that according to her hadn't been lining up lately.
So, my sharing of the sexual aspect of my new relationship, as little as I did, helped her get closer to her husband and have new ways to go about achieving satisfaction for them both.
I was astonished and grateful that I could help her by simply sharing some of my own experiences....